One of my close friends had a pretty terrible childhood, but at least his stories are funny.

His mother had a penchant for striking him whenever an insecurity struck her, so most of the stories he relays to me about that period of his life generally end with “… and then she beat me!”

It follows that he has issues with her.

My coworker happens to share his mother’s first name, which complicated my attempts to relay my amusing work-related Ebay anecdotes.

A solution was devised at the local In & Out Burger while enjoying their delicious fries: nickname my coworker after the text on the fry container.

This works well because of her penchant for fried potatoes. The nickname is sticking at work, I can tell!

Another coworker, who has a similar name, is named “Chinese Restaurant,” because of a fast food Chinese restaurant I saw near the Noodle House.