FOR YOUR IMMEDIATE CONSIDERATION

One, large, neutered, all-white, 13-year-old male cat with all his shots. Responds to “The White Kitty” and is in good health and fine temperament, with a few minor exceptions.

This cat meows like a broken, skipping record. Even after you feed him, change his litter and water, pet him, and keep him warm, he will not relent. It may seem completely random, but I assure you that his method is your madness.

A mild stroke has caused this cat’s head to slightly tilt to one side, like an owl looking around a corner. It does not seem to adversely impact him, though it has earned him the nickname “Crooked-head Panther-face.”

The White Kitty displays affection with snot. He will show his appreciation for all your food and warmth and petting by sneezing directly into your face and on everything you value. Books, personal electronics, food, clothes… everything is fair game for his love and he will love you.

If your legs have a tendency to cramp, it is not advisable to allow him access to your bedroom. He lives for the warmth between your legs and will find his way under your covers to secure this strategic position. He particularly enjoys sleeping with people and has no qualms about watching or interrupting any bedroom activities, especially at 4am: his preferred feeding time.

The White Kitty is connoisseur of human flavors. He will enjoy licking your arm, face, foot, and head at all times of the day. At the end of the day, when he is relatively silent, he will spend a great deal of time licking, munching and otherwise loudly chewing on himself with very little shame.

I recommend installing a pet door for the cat to enter and exit your house. Otherwise, this cat will wait in the door frame for minutes, deciding if he really wants to venture out.

Food he will snub, toys he does not play with, and litter he will scatter everywhere are included.

NO REFUNDS OR EXCHANGES