It started with Tom’s mother, Beverley, who, in the presence of about 30 Mormons over to help us all clean out their garage, used the term to describe my relationship with these friends that had nothing to do with family, church, or marriage:

Our motley crew convened every Sunday to take part in a shared storytelling experience, wherein we would create fantastic, heroic, tragic characters, and play out their lives in a fantasy world of myth and magic.

I don’t know if this is common amongst Mormons, nor will I pretend to know the slightest bit about their social habits or graces, but in my experience, those who were kind enough to help Tom’s family seemed to have a tendency to refer to each other as Brother This or Sister That. So rather than explain those heretical activities — and bless her heart, she never did the entire time I visited — to clear up the unspoken question of “who is this Tom-tall person with the temperament and cackle of Sister Shawna?” she simply referred to me as “Friend Brad.”

Somehow that made sense, and since then, we haven’t stopped finding it funny. Since then, I’ve been referring to everyone with a title; coworker, friend, and soon, family members (just wait!)

Sunday game has since ended and been moved to Friday, but this lives on. When some of my international friends started using the honorary, I figured it was time for a writeup.

One of my close friends had a pretty terrible childhood, but at least his stories are funny.

His mother had a penchant for striking him whenever an insecurity struck her, so most of the stories he relays to me about that period of his life generally end with “… and then she beat me!”

It follows that he has issues with her.

My coworker happens to share his mother’s first name, which complicated my attempts to relay my amusing work-related Ebay anecdotes.

A solution was devised at the local In & Out Burger while enjoying their delicious fries: nickname my coworker after the text on the fry container.

This works well because of her penchant for fried potatoes. The nickname is sticking at work, I can tell!

Another coworker, who has a similar name, is named “Chinese Restaurant,” because of a fast food Chinese restaurant I saw near the Noodle House.