Greetings, fellow caretakers, librarians, intellectuals, and members of bannedbooksweek.org. I am writing to encourage you to remove any mention of J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye from your list, campaign, and website, so future generations of students may be saved from the chore of reading this “classic.”

While it’s a classic in the sense that it is widely distributed, it’s a chore, an offline MySpace blog about a self-absorbed, obnoxious twit. To clarify, I don’t believe the book should be banned. No, that was exactly the cause of its fame, and why I was subjected to it during my youth. It should be ignored as poor literature, relinquished to a dusty shelf to rot in the forgotten library of our inattention.

As a teenager, I recall it was banned because of the extensive use of curse words, in particular, “fuck,” and every time I attempt to re-read it, that exact word comes to mind. As in, “why the fuck am I reading this again, this is the third fucking time?” or “J.D.-fucking-Salinger would not have had a career if this fucking book was not banned.”

Please pardon my coarse language. My inner voice is often quite harsh in regards to this particular topic.

While I doubt my request will be seriously considered, please at least take the time to re-read it for yourselves to verify my claim, or read it for the first time. Then proceed on to something more rewarding. Personally, I am poring through a wonderfully-illustrated copy of Twain’s The Innocents Abroad, which I highly recommend. I wish I was forced to read Twain as a teenager, instead of Salinger. Perhaps I would have started on the classics, sooner.

Finally, I don’t blame you for your well-intentioned and largely positive campaign. I just wish my former teacher had chosen chosen a different book from your list.

Thank you for your consideration.